Test7

@⌬-COOH(回归废柴状态)

评分: -2772+ –x

评分: +1+x
scp-80rk-j.jpg

Member of SCP-80RK-J eviscerating a hostile entity.

Item #: SCP-80RK-J

Object Class: Apollyon, but could be considered Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Members of SCP-80RK-J are to be held in a life sized replica of the Taj Mahal constructed of pure moonbeams inlaid with gold. The containment site is to be equipped with at least 3.2 million boutique artisanal chew toys. Alternatively, members of SCP-80RK-J could be housed in a standard animal containment unit. It is to have 30 meals a day consisting solely of the souls of their enemies. Enemies of SCP-80RK-J include, but are not limited to: Fascists, People with a negative score on the aura evaluation test, members of the species Homo erectus, and cats. A minimum standard of 3 meals a day of animal grade kibble could also be acceptable.

Personnel subject to being in the same site as members of SCP-80RK-J are to be reclassified as Z-Class until all members of SCP-80RK-J have been transferred. Reclassification to E-Class could be authorized until such time as a definition for Z-Class personnel is established. A massive pool party is to be thrown with the pool to be entirely filled with $100 notes and staffed by approximately all of the hookers. Although, a minimum of zero hookers could be allowed. Personnel attending any such pool party, should it exist, are to be given Class X amnestics and any personnel leaving with any of the $100 notes from the pool are to be terminated or could have standard embezzlement disciplinary action filed against them.

Any attempts to bring members of SCP-80RK-J into contact with a member of the overseer council is to result in orbital ejection or death.

Members of SCP-80RK-J are to have their genitalia ceremoniously eviscerated, as per standard animal spay and neutering procedure, as soon as they are identified by Foundation personnel. Members of SCP-80RK-J are not under any circumstances allowed to breed. Personnel encouraging members of SCP-80RK-J to breed are to be drawn and quartered at the soonest available time, or terminated in any other way if a horse is not available.

Description: SCP-80RK-J is a breed of the species Canis familiaris. It is distinguished by its regal flowing mane that can measure as much as 30km in length in brown, beige, or combat coloration and its cognitohazardous effect on all members of lifekind, however members outside the species Homo sapiens could be said to be immune. Any description of any kind described while in the effect of SCP-80RK-J become absolutely disproportionate to something that could be considered remotely near accurate to any physical universe that does or could be theorized to exist. This effect could have been shown not to manifest in hypothetical statements following the initial descriptions. The range of this effect has been shown to be upwards of several million light years, although it could be as little as 10km.

Attempts to remove the affected descriptions only serves to anger the thaumatergical entities that control the universe and cause them to hate all of reality even more than they already do and bring our inevitable end even closer than it already is or could result in even more outlandish descriptions than were previously produced.

Unsurprisingly, this effect can have absolutely disastrous consequences, resulting in a Double-ΩK-Class End-of-Consensus-Reality scenario if left unchecked, but more often could result in minor headaches for Foundation staff.


评分: +1+x
scp-80rk-j.jpg

SCP-80RK-J的成员正在对一个敌对的实体进行切割。

项目#: SCP-80RK-J

物品类别: Apollyon,但也可以认为是Euclid。

特殊的关押程序: SCP-80RK-J的成员将被关押在泰姬陵的真人大小的复制品中,该复制品由纯正的月光和黄金镶嵌而成。囚禁场所将配备至少320万件精品手工咀嚼玩具。另外,SCP-80RK-J的成员可以被安置在一个标准的动物收容所。它每天要吃30顿饭,完全由他们敌人的灵魂组成。SCP-80RK-J的敌人包括,但不限于。法西斯主义者,在灵气评估测试中得了负分的人,直立人物种的成员,以及猫。一天三餐的动物级狗粮的最低标准也可以接受。

与SCP-80RK-J成员在同一地点的人员将被重新归类为Z级,直到SCP-80RK-J的所有成员都被转移。在确定Z级人员的定义之前,可以授权重新分类为E级。将举办一个大规模的泳池派对,泳池里将全部装满100美元的钞票,并由大约所有的妓女担任工作人员。不过,可以允许至少有零个妓女。参加任何这样的泳池派对的人员,如果存在的话,将被给予X级麻醉剂,任何带着泳池里的100美元钞票离开的人员将被解雇,或者对他们采取标准的挪用公款的纪律处分。

任何试图让SCP-80RK-J的成员与监督者委员会的成员接触的行为都将导致轨道弹射或死亡。

SCP-80RK-J的成员一旦被基金会人员发现,将按照标准的动物绝育程序,将其生殖器隆重地开膛破肚。SCP-80RK-J的成员在任何情况下都不允许繁殖。鼓励SCP-80RK-J成员繁殖的人员将在最短的时间内被抽调,或在没有马的情况下以任何其他方式终止。

描述: SCP-80RK-J是属于Canis familiaris的一个品种。它的特点是,它的棕色、米色或战斗色的流动鬃毛的长度可以达到30公里,它对所有的生命体都有认知上的危害,但是物种Homo sapiens以外的成员可以说是免疫。在SCP-80RK-J的影响下,任何描述都变得绝对不相称,可以说是对任何确实存在或可以被理论化的物理宇宙的远程接近准确的东西。这种效应可以被证明在最初的描述之后的假设性陈述中不表现出来。这种效应的范围已被证明是超过几百万光年,尽管它可能小到10公里。

试图消除受影响的描述只会激怒控制宇宙的泰米尔实体,使他们比现在更讨厌所有的现实,使我们不可避免的结局比现在更接近,或者可能导致比以前产生的更离谱的描述。

不出所料,这种效应可能会产生绝对的灾难性后果,如果不加控制,会导致双ΩK级的共识结束—现实的情况,但更多的时候可能会导致基金会工作人员的轻微头痛。

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CC BY-SA 114514.810